Friday, April 1

Growing up I always felt protected my earthly father. Whenever some issue came up, like the bear sitting uninvited next to my Mom, a broken car or basement flood, Papa was there to “fix” it. I trusted in his ability to help do what was best for our family, even if I did not understand what he would do nor how.

 As I grew up, I became fairly self-sufficient and tended to think I knew best what to do in various situations, particularly ones that involved myself and my family. I often felt confident that, as long as I looked at an issue carefully and work diligently to attain a desired outcome, that it simply must be the right thing.

 But despite my effort, things did not always work out my way. I had trouble understanding the reason for my infertility, miscarriages and a pregnancy that involved life threatening toxemia and a premature birth. I struggled as to why five closely related family members tragically died from pancreatic cancer. And I don’t know the reasons for random shootings, natural disasters and so many other things.

 Yet, sometimes, God helped me to understand why I faced a struggle, illness or disappointment. Maybe it brought special people into my life, increased my empathy or re-directed my life in a more positive direction. Older and stronger in my faith, I realize that I am not in control of my life but that God is. And even better, I trust that his all-wise all-knowing plans for me are best, even when I don’t understand the plans nor why they are happening. Letting go and letting God has brought me a measure of peace that was previously missing in my life.